What is a caregiver to do in the face of the unusual difficulties posed by stages of grief that arise during caregiving? Well, there is no substitute for capable psychological counseling when emotional burdens become debilitating, and that maxim certainly applies to the burden of anticipatory grief. When events overwhelm, seek out professional help. And you may have access to one or more support groups for caregivers; check with local hospitals, hospices, and/or counselors for pertinent information.
But in the meantime there are steps a caregiver can take on his or her own to cope with stages of grief that arise during the caregiving process.
Keeping a journal has often been suggested as a way to “talk out” your issues in writing. The process is therapeutic: it may relieve your stress, and it may even help you to isolate and understand emotions that would otherwise remain suppressed.
Researching the illness of the patient is another means of achieving a measure of command and control over a context that can sometimes seem mystifying and frightening. Understanding can shed light on the darkness.
Taking time for yourself – and the activities that were central to your life before caregiving commenced – is another way to cope, and indeed may actually enhance the quality of your caregiving. Getting away, when possible, can be restorative. And don’t forget to exercise, maintain a proper diet, and get your sleep – you’ll be a better caregiver if you maintain your own health, and this will generate emotional benefits, too.
Sharing your feelings with others – particularly others who are close to the patient – is useful for the caregiver both as a palliative practice and as a means of apprising the inner group of the difficult emotional path of caregiving, and the personal toll that the caregiver may be experiencing.
And remember that caregiving isn’t just about obligations to the patient – you can still have fun, whether it’s creating new memories or, if that’s not physically possible, reliving old ones. Injecting positive moments can be a great way of relieving the strain of tough times, and the pain of anticipatory grief.
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